LAS VEGAS (KTNV) — Raising a family comes with plenty of hurdles. Things can get much more complicated when a mom and dad start caring for their elderly parents too.
Tricia Kean speaks with a local expert who says families are facing more stress since the pandemic.
SO TIRED
"I'm exhausted. By the end of the night, I am so tired," says Yvette Zolina of Henderson.
She says she's stressed, "Something's got to give eventually."
She works a full-time job that keeps her on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
"It's the hospital," Zolina told KTNV, then answering her phone. "Hi, this is Yvette."
Zolina is a mom raising a 5-year-old with her husband, plus their daughter attending Nevada State College. Life is even busier since Zolina's parents moved to Las Vegas.
"It was not part of the plan at all. They just weren't making ends meet in California," Zolina said.
Now, she drives her parents to doctor's appointments two to three times a week. She says her mom struggles to get around and needs a double knee replacement.
"She also suffers from COVID lung, which still affects her to this day. She can't walk without huffing and puffing," she said.
Then there's her father, whose health is declining mentally due to dementia.
"There is times that he can't remember who I am. So there are those moments," she said.
Making family life even more difficult, her parents recently faced an almost $700 rent hike, forcing her to start working extra hours.
SECOND JOB
"These are my parents, and I'm going to support them 110% and if that means I have to take on a second job, so be it," she said.
Between work, the kids and caring for her parents, Zolina admits there's not much time for anything else.
"It's stressful. Let's face it. Everybody needs something from me," Zolina said.
Yvette isn't alone. She's part of what's being called the, "sandwich generation."
More than 11 million Americans are sandwiched between raising children and caring for an adult family member according to The National Alliance for Caregiving.
A report from New York Life says many family caregivers are experiencing a decline in their health and economic well-being since the pandemic.
"We've seen more health concerns in terms of just mental health and also physical health. So for me as a provider, I am seeing more families having a hard time," says licensed clinical social worker, Natasha Mosby.
She's also a lecturer, teaching the next generation at the UNLV School of Social Work. She says caregivers must make their own health more of a priority. To do that, Mosby says it's important to slow down.
"I mean, just some time to decompress for five to 15 minutes can make a huge impact on your mental health," says Mosby.
She recommends creating a list of responsibilities. Then, making the necessary changes to schedule time for yourself.
"So it's something in power to look at that information and say, 'you know what, I can probably put this off to next week or I can delegate this to someone else.' Some of these things are self-imposed that we may put on ourselves and think we have to do it," says Mosby.
Finally, Mosby says it's important to talk to someone.
MOMENT TO PROCESS
"Even if it's not a professional, just saying, 'hey this is where I am today,' and have that moment to kind of process ourselves and think about it," says Mosby.
Bottom line, Mosby says give yourself some grace.
"Breathe, breathe. There's no perfect answer. Right? So being patient with yourself, having some compassion with yourself, and knowing that you're doing the best you can with what you have," says Mosby.
Zolina admits she's not taking time for herself, and it could be detrimental to her health and her marriage.
"We barely go out together. It's very seldom, we need more, more of that time with each other," she said.
Zolina says she's looking to make some changes and hopes anyone else in her shoes does the same.
"Don't give up. Talk to someone that you love and care about and express how you feel. It's okay to let someone know you're not okay," she said.
Zolina created an online community for caregivers seeking advice or help from other caregivers.
